


A Kutte Soul

by SpragueGLove (Enixam1994)



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23110198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enixam1994/pseuds/SpragueGLove
Summary: When Opie dies, he is reunited with Donna.
Relationships: Donna Winston/Opie Winston
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	A Kutte Soul

The last thing he felt was the pipe hitting the back of his head. He was still smiling up at Jax, Chibs and Tig from where they all were stood behind the glass in the other room as it happened. After that there was a single burst of hot electric pain, a splitting feeling as his skull broke apart and the skin tore against the sharp shattered pieces that exploded outward and inward at the same time. But just as quickly as the pain came, it completely vanished and Opie didn’t even feel his body fall or hit against the floor before he found he was sitting up again.

Time had completely frozen around him. Or that’s how it looked at first. After a moment he realized that time wasn’t actually frozen, it was just moving incredibly slowly. The one who had delivered the final blow against him was slowly lifting the pipe back up into the air and bringing it down again, right over where Opie was sat. And since he was moving so slowly, Opie had plenty of time to climb to his feet, move out the way and look back down at his own bloody corpse before he did. He wasn’t surprised to see his own body lying beneath him. He knew the second he pushed Jax back and head-butted that asshole of a prison guard, that this was the end for him.

Stepping back, Opie watched the guy slam the pipe down on top of him and scowled as he began lifting it up again. It was the worst kind of unnecessary violence. He was dead, they all knew it. The only reason this guy was still going was to mess with Jax, Chibs and Tig who were left helplessly watching from the other room. It wasn’t even to deliver a message to them or prove a point. It was just to be cruel.

Opie glanced up at them and drifted towards the glass, ignoring the men who murdered him still destroying his body as much as they could in what little time they had left. Instead Opie focused on his friends. Jax was turning away – still moving slowly – and had his back to him while Chibs continued to scream and slam against the glass window. Tig didn’t seem quite sure what to do at this point, backing away but not taking his eyes off the scene either. He looked like he wanted to do what both Jax and Chibs were doing and so was now just caught in the middle.

Not that Opie cared that much. He cared about Jax and Chibs but the truth was he’d forgiven Tig for his mistake right up until Clay had murdered his father. After that, it seemed like all the pain and anger he had felt for him before had come rushing back again. Maybe he was just kidding himself and he had in fact never truly forgiven Tig for pulling the trigger on Donna. And the more he thought about it, the only reason they were even in this place was because of Tig, once again murdering an innocent woman. In the end his reasons didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he didn’t care about Tig quite as much as he once did. He certainly hadn’t thrown himself to be sacrificed for him. No. He’d done that for Chibs and Jax, and Jax’s kids and Tara who would be heartbroken if they lost him.

Opie knew that feeling all too well.

“Opie…”

That voice.

Opie barely dared believe it. He almost didn’t want to turn around in case he was imagining things or simply wrong about who he thought it was. But at the same time, he desperately needed to look, just in case he hadn’t imagined it. Just in case he wasn’t mistaken.

Turning around, Opie looked towards the other end of the room. And there she stood.

Donna, looking exactly as she had the day she had been killed. She was in the same attractive but casual jeans and a long sleeved top. Her hair was the same length – short, stopping just above her shoulders – that it had been when she brushed it before heading to Abel’s party, and of course her face hadn’t aged or changed a fraction from when he had given her that final kiss goodbye before splitting ways into separate vehicles. There was no sign of the blood that had covered the back of her head after the shooting, no bruise or injury of any kind on her soft beautiful skin and while there was a flicker of hesitation in her expression, there was also a slightly sad and hopeful touch to her features as she looked at him with the same gorgeous grey-blue eyes.

“Donna…” Opie croaked.

And then she smiled at him. It was a soft smile. And while it was a still little sad, it was also still her smile and that was all that mattered to Opie right now.

“Donna…” Opie repeated, turning towards her.

The rest of the room completely faded away from his mind, like there was no one else around but him and Donna. The guards, Jax and the others behind the window, his killers, even his own body, all of it was completely insignificant now. Instead it was just Opie and Donna standing in a room together. And with far too much space between them.

Opie soon fixed that.

His body was moving even before his mind could catch up with him, and then he was in front of Donna, close enough to pull her into his arms… Only his legs gave out under him and instead he found himself kneeling down in front of her, his hands reaching out slowly to touch her hips carefully, like Donna was made of glass and he was afraid of breaking her.

Donna had watched him run and collapse in front of her relatively calmly, and still had that sad smile on as she reached down and cupped his face between her hands, lifting his face to look at her. Her lips were moving but he couldn’t hear whatever it was she was saying – it felt like there was a sudden ringing in his ears, brought on by his own shock, and it was completely drowning her out – and before he even attempted to make out what she was trying to say, tears swam in his eyes and his arms wrapped around her waist, leaning forward and burying his face into her stomach as the first sob ripped free. Opie didn’t necessarily cry easily. He wasn’t too macho to cry or anything else as ridiculous as that. It was just that it took a lot to really get him emotional enough to react. Except for when it came to Donna. When it came to Donna, Opie had never been hesitant to shedding tears – whether they be in anguish or in joy. And right now Opie wasn’t sure which one it was bringing them out this time.

Opie cried into her stomach for an unknown amount of time. At least long enough that the slow motion movements around him began to return to an almost normal speed. And the whole time he felt Donna stroking her hands through his hair and over his head, leaning down and whispering something to him in that same soft tone – though he still couldn’t make out what over the ringing and the sound of his own muffled sobs into her top.

“Opie… Baby… It’s okay…” Donna’s voice finally broke through and somehow it helped his tears come to a slow stop. He took a shaky breath – though something about it felt off, like the air was icy cold in his lungs but in a pleasant cooling way – and slowly tilted his head back to look at her. Immediately she smiled down at him again, cupping his face and gently stroking her thumbs over his cheeks, wiping some of the tears. “I’m here, Opie.”

Opie opened his mouth, wanting to tell her how much he loved her, but instead found himself saying; “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I know,” Donna said, leaning down and pressing her forehead against his. “But it’s okay. I forgive you. I love you.”

Her forgiveness caught him off guard, and yet it wasn’t enough. She had to know how truly sorry he was. She had to know.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so god damn sorry,” He gasped. “I’m-”

She cut him off by bending right down and kissing him. It was hot and intense and Opie immediately reacted to it, tightening his grip around her and leaning up to meet her as she leaned even further towards him. Opie knew he was dead, yet kissing Donna felt like it was bringing him back to life. He climbed back onto his feet without breaking the kiss, keeping his arms wrapped around her as her own arms draped over his shoulders and she pressed her body against his.

He could have spent the rest of his afterlife simply kissing Donna in that room – completely ignoring the violence and anger around them. That would have been Opie’s most perfect heaven.

Unfortunately Donna eventually broke their kiss, pulling back but keeping her arms around him and smiling up at him. “You’re okay.” She whispered the statement, yet clearly left no room for argument.

Opie, still struggling to finds his words, simply said; “I missed you…”

“I know, but I’ve always been here. And we’re together now.” Donna said.

“Yeah… But…” Opie shook his head, tears spilling over his cheeks again. “God, Donna. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”

“No, baby, no it’s not.” Donna said. “I don’t blame you. I never did.”

“But it was my fault,” Opie gasped. “I let this happen. I… I should have left when I told you I would. I should have protected you better. I should have done more for you. I just… God, baby, I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Donna insisted. “I know it wasn’t.” She leaned up and kissed his shaking lips again.

“I…” Opie swallowed. “I failed you. I failed the kids.”

Donna paused and nodded her head. “I wish… I wish you could have been stronger… I wish you could have done right by them.” She kissed him again. “But I forgive you for that. I understand and it’s okay.” She paused and glanced over to a spot behind Opie. Time had returned to normal now and the guards were dragging Opie’s body from the room, leaving a disgusting blood stain and trail behind them as they did. “Let’s go somewhere else.” She suggested.

“Okay,” Opie nodded instantly.

Donna stepped back and Opie reluctantly let her go, letting her take his hand instead and lead him from the room. Donna moved with ease and grace, not even flinching as she stepped through the closed door and passed through it like smoke. Even knowing it wouldn’t touch him, Opie still found himself wincing as he followed her through, and did it again for the four other walls they passed before they were stepping outside.

It was early evening, so the sky was still just a dark blue and Opie had a feeling he would have felt a chill in the air if he had still been in his body. Instead he felt quite warm and comfortable, like this was how his story was always meant to end and everything he had done was to lead to this moment. It was quite a peaceful thought. Though it did make him feel bad in one sense. He hadn’t meant to leave Ellie and Kenny as orphans, but the truth was he knew he was no good for them. He never had been. Even before Donna died, he tried to be a good dad but he never had the knack for it the way Jax did with Abel. Maybe he inherited from his own father too much or maybe his time in Chino stunted his fatherly growth, but in the end his kids were probably better off without him there to screw them up.

The prison was located a fair drive away from Charming in an almost cliché deserted area with a single road leading away from the building in a long straight stretch. Donna, still holding Opie’s hand, began to lead him down the middle of the road. She didn’t say anything as she did and neither did he, just glad to be moving away from the prison. Neither of them looked back at any point, Donna focusing on the road ahead and Opie focusing on Donna.

“You’ve been here the whole time,” Opie said after a while.

“I told you, I’ve always been here,” Donna confirmed.

“You saw… Everything?” Opie asked hesitantly.

“Yeah.” Donna stopped walking and turned to look up at him meaningfully. “Everything.”

Opie wasn’t sure how to ask, so he simply stated; “Tig shot you.”

“I know.” Donna’s face, while still seemingly calm, had tightened slightly. “I saw that too.”

Opie didn’t want to ask. He was scared of the answer. And yet he couldn’t stop himself. “Do you hate me?”

Donna blinked in surprise. “No! Of course not! I love you!” She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his torso.

“You’re not… Mad that I stayed in the club? Even knowing what they did… To you?” Opie said, wrapping his arms around her tightly in case this was the last chance he would get to hold her.

Donna stared at him and shrugged. “I… I was angry for so long, Opie. I…” She swallowed, wetting her lips and taking a shaky breath. “I was so angry. At the club. At you. Even at Lyla at one point.” She let out a little sad laugh. “I was so bitter and angry at the whole world and everyone in it and for so long I spent my time screaming at you all, even though no one could hear me. It was the most frustrated I had ever been, like screaming at nothing. And worse, when everything just kept playing out anyway…” She paused, dropping her head and looking down at their feet. “I couldn’t watch you marry her. I couldn’t watch you laughing with Tig and Clay. But in the end, that was a good thing because I started watching Kenny and Ellie instead and it helped me. After a while, I stopped being so angry.”

“Yeah?” Opie whispered, feeling his stomach twist with furious guilt at the pain he put her in. Even if he didn’t know she was watching, it still felt like he had cheated right in her face in every way possible.

“For a while after that I was just sad,” Donna continued. “I was sad I couldn’t be there with them, help them, teach them. All I could do was watch them… But then I saw Kenny get his first A in his science test, and even though I couldn’t hug him or kiss him, I was so happy. Because at least I _saw_ it. And I was so proud of him.”

“They’re lucky. They got all your traits.” Opie said gently.

Donna looked up at him and smiled sadly. “They got the best from both of us.”

“No.” Opie disagreed. “Just you.”

Donna rolled her eyes and laughed again. “You are too hard on yourself.” She said, then shrugged. “Anyway. After that I started feeling okay, just watching you all. Though, I was still sad. Sad you couldn’t be stronger for our babies. But also sad you couldn’t be strong for yourself.” She gently stroked her hands down his chest. “I didn’t want you and Lyla to be happy at first. I was selfish-”

“No, Donna-” Opie started.

“I was.” Donna said. “I resented Lyla so much and I hated that you might fall in love with someone else… But then, when you broke up… I felt…” She looked away. “I wondered if maybe… Somehow… What if you sensed my resentment? What if you could unconsciously feel my hate and maybe that’s why you couldn’t be happy with her. If it was my fault-”

“No!” Opie said, lifting her head and making her look at him. “No, baby, it wasn’t you. It was all me. Lyla was a great girl, but she wasn’t you. That was my problem.”

“Still.” Donna mumbled, shifting her eyes to look away from him. “I felt so guilty that maybe I had influenced you. And I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to find happiness again.”

“Not without you,” Opie said firmly.

“I wish you could have.” Donna said softly. “You deserve happiness, Opie.”

Opie paused, then took her hand and started walking again. He didn’t know where they were going. He just knew that it was easier to speak when he moved at the same time.

“The truth is, Donna, I didn’t know how to be happy after I lost you. And then things just got worse and worse.” Opie rubbed a hand over his hair, pushing it from his face. “The Club has been my whole life ever since I was a kid. But it took you from me. Then it took my dad. And suddenly the Club I grew up with… Just wasn’t the Club I grew up with anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Donna said gently. There was a pause, then she said; “I saw Piney.”

“You did?” Opie did a double take, looking at her.

“He hung around for a bit after he died, talking to me. He apologized for everything too.” Donna smiled slightly. “It was good being able to talk to someone again. Most other people I see just pass straight through.”

“Has he gone now?” Opie asked, glancing up like the old man might appear in front of them.

“Yeah. He said he was sorry he couldn’t wait with me but he was tired and ready to let go.” Donna nodded.

They were nearing Charming now. Opie wasn’t sure how – since it was a couple hours drive at least and they were making the way on foot – but he didn’t question it either, simply following Donna past the town line.

“Why didn’t you move on?” Opie asked her.

Donna glanced around them, like she was looking for something. “I couldn’t. I was so restless and angry at first and then I couldn’t go because I needed to be sure you were going to be okay without me first.”

“You shouldn’t have stayed for me.” Opie said.

“I wanted to. I choose to.” Donna said firmly. “And I’m glad I did. It’s scary when you die, so I’m happy I could be here waiting for you to make it easier.”

Opie gave her hand a squeeze. “Definitely easier.” He nodded, then glanced up, recognizing the street. “What are we doing?”

“I’m ready to move on if you are…” Donna said slowly. “I just need to say goodbye first.”

Opie nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

Donna once again led the way with Opie following, wincing as his face phased through the wooden surface of the front door before they were stepping into the living room. Lyla was sitting on the sofa, watching the television with a fed up expression on her face, leaning her head on her hand and her elbow on the arm, forcing a weak smile every now and then when Piper looked back at her. He was sitting on the floor with Kenny, the two of them setting up a large racetrack along most of the carpet with a multiple of different colored cars at the ready to go. Ellie was on the other chair, a book in her lap and head bowed though her eyes weren’t following the words and her mind was clearly elsewhere.

“You think they’re gonna be okay?” Opie asked.

“I hope so,” Donna whispered. She let go of Opie’s hand and moved towards Kenny, crouching down and leaning over, giving him a ghostly kiss on the top of his head. “Bye, babies.” She whispered, then stood, walked over and did the same with Ellie, kissing her cheek before standing and looking lovingly down at her. “I love you both so much.”

Opie hesitated, then moved and copied his wife, reaching down and stroking his hand over the top of Kenny’s head – without actually touching him – and leaned down to kiss his forehead just bellow his hair. He wasn’t quite as smooth as Donna who had no doubt practiced ghost kisses many times over the years, and he ducked a little too low, but he was glad he even had the chance to do just that. He stroked his hand over his head once more, as if he really was brushing his son’s hair, before standing and walking around the boys and towards Ellie. He crouched down in front of her, then reached up and hovered his hand against her cheek getting as close to holding her as he could be.

It was hard. He wished he could pull Ellie off her feet and into his arms and give Kenny a proper kiss instead of pretending and touching the air around them. He couldn’t imagine how Donna had managed, being so close to them all the time but unable to actually touch them without losing her mind. The fact that she was still going, that she had stuck around despite the pain this obviously must have caused her, once again proved how strong she really was.

“You two look out for each other,” Opie said, glancing between his children. “You’re family. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.”

“Stay strong. Stay brave.” Donna whispered. “Stay together.”

Opie stood and stepped up to her, taking her hands and smiling. “They’ll be okay.”

“Promise?” Donna croaked.

And just like that she was looking at him so desperately that even if Opie wasn’t sure, he couldn’t give any other answer than; “I promise. They will be okay.” He turned to face them, wrapping his arms around Donna and hugging her as he watched them. “You raised them right.”

Donna nodded, leaning back against him and placing her hands gently over his. “I hope so.”

Opie turned his head and kissed her temple, unconsciously rocking her slightly as they stood and watched their children together. When they heard the news of their father, they would no doubt be heartbroken all over again, but Opie hoped it wouldn’t hurt as much as it had when they lost Donna. At least then he knew they’d be able to deal with it. And Lyla and Piper would help them. That would make it easier.

During their wait, Lyla went to make the kids something to eat and Opie briefly wondered if he should follow and give her a goodbye as well, but at the same time it didn’t seem right with Donna watching. And in a way he’d already said his goodbyes to her before going inside with Jax. So instead of following her, he simply watched her go for a moment before turning back to the kids again, glancing briefly down at Donna. He’d wait until she was ready, until the pained and glassy look faded in her eyes, before he said anything else.

Finally, as Kenny and Piper finished the last of several races and Ellie had given up pretending to read her book and instead began channel hoping, Donna gave Opie’s arm a gentle pat. “Okay.” She said. “I’m ready.”

“You sure? We don’t have to rush.” Opie said.

“I know, but if we don’t go now then I don’t think we ever will,” Donna said, chuckling and fighting tears at the same time.

Opie shrugged. “So what if we don’t? We could just stay here for a while and watch them grow up together.”

“I’d like that,” Donna confessed, then turned to face him. “But I’m also tired, Ope. And I know I can’t cling onto them forever.” She shut her eyes for a moment then opened them and smiled at him. “It’s time to move on. And I can do it now you’re with me.”

Opie smiled back at her, leaning down and kissing her softly before taking her hand for the last time in this world. They were both ready now.

As if on cue with their thoughts, a soft glow began to shine from the doorway of their old bedroom. It was warm and inviting and Opie was impressed Donna had been able to resist going to it before.

Now, however, they could walk towards it together. And much like when they walked away from the prison, they both fought the urge to look back at their children. Despite how badly they both wanted to, they didn’t. Instead they both kept going straight on, side by side and hand in hand.

They’d said their goodbyes.

It was time for them to move on to whatever was next.

Together.


End file.
